In Bike We Trust!

Not Even A Scratch

2009-11-18T19:14:00.002-04:00

Okay, so it had been a while since there has been any posting going on at IBWT! However, today those four words rang true once again, deep and resounding. At 8:45am, through a complex set of maneuvers that I'll spare you the details on, I was cut off, boxed in, and forced into the back of this Suzuki at 40 km/hr.

Needless to say, the Suzuki's driver and his wife were shocked to see me appear through their rear windshield, perhaps even more than I was to be there. Amazingly, I escaped without a scratch on me, or my bike for that matter.

Stage one - Shock/Disbelief.
Two - Humour/Denial.
And three (about the time the adrenalin wears off) - Sobering appreciation.

Thankfully my family laid the guilt on thick over the past Thanksgiving weekend about wearing my helmet, and it's been glued to my head since coming back to Montreal. This could have been a messy one without it.

Ride safe.

The Prestige

2009-07-16T21:35:00.006-03:00

Life is good being a messenger in Montreal.

Many office towers offer reserved parking for bike messengers. And a couple of them actually enforce it. Most are covered in a heap of commuter hybrids and fixed mountain bikes with tri bars.

The Beach goes VIP! Okay, so it totally looks more like they've quarantined us. They were washing the windows above, but were we going to change our daily routine in fear of soapy water? Hardly. FTW, right?

Also, please don't make fun of the Cinelli; that bright purple rear tire was all the shop had in stock, and she's sensitive about it. She sort of looks like a bad emo haircut. I hope it is just a phase.

Porte Prix

2009-07-14T22:43:00.011-03:00

After spending the afternoon in the hospital (Not for me, no worries, keeping the rubber side down so far) with other two messengers roughed up on the roads today (a door prize, and the classic 'park-n-tackle" move), as well as a recent rash of crashes for various bikers over the past couple weeks, I thought it best to share some photos from MTL to prove my livingness to all of you.

Sergio (in two parts)

My favourite elevator. The buttons depress when pushed, then pop out when you get to your floor. I'm like a child how that amuses me.

Hanging at "the Beach." A piece of sidewalk down town with a couple benches, bike racks, and coffee shops in immediate proximity. A bicycle tour of the city actually stopped there the other day as the "this-is-where-all-of-the-(notorious)-bike-messengers-hang-out stop.

Self-expression at the Beach.

Manitoba (Jesse) (Because he calls me Nova Scotia, and neither of us are from either of those places) He managed to patch a tube with tinfoil and saliva, then puncture reinstalling the tire with levers.

Emergency Ward.

On that note, ride safe everyone. Two great people, through no fault of their own, got hurt today doing what they love. Thankfully they are both okay. But shit happens. You are in my thoughts.

In Bike We Trust!

Byrdsale.

2009-06-19T22:46:00.005-03:00

You want to know what's sicker than fixed gear? Gears. That's right. Imagine how fresh you're going to look at the next alley cat or triathlon when you roll up in the spot sporting a full 9 on this bad boy:

Your friends will be so jealous. $300. QR not included.

And for that fixie fever in all of you, I offer up this gem of a frame, complete with custom red paint (and decal), 1/8 threaded headset and fork (rare), and the coveted horizontal dropout. Feast your eyes upon this:

Ah crap. Wrong frame.

There we go. Buy it for your lover. $100. 52cm.

This stuff is actually for sale.

Sur Ta Gauche!

2009-06-14T12:21:00.009-03:00

InBikeWeTrust! goes inter-provincial and somewhat bilingual (Nous Avons Confiance En Vélo!?). Maybe this is what we need to reinvigorate the blog. After a four month "retirement" I'm back on the bike working the streets of Montreal.

However, a day before leaving the great city, InBikeWeTrust! showed up ready to ride at the annual Halifax Criterium in the first ever Java Blend Single Speed Crit. By "ready to ride" we mean sufficiently numb due to the previous night's alcohol consumption, which was just one element of master trainer/coach/guru Zac Barkhouse's plan to take the race.

Adding to Barkhouse's expertise, honourary IBWT! member of the day (mostly due to jersey choice), Andy Canning brought his calm and collected experience to the front of the pack. Such a winning combination that the IBWT!/Dynamex team took the podium, 1,2,3, and walked away with jersey pockets stuffed with Java Blend coffee beans, the lifeblood of any messenger.

Beyond the final standings, the race was a great success. Almost 30 single-speed-based bikes lined up at the start, and ignoring a couple mid-race withdrawals, everyone seemed to have a great time, keeping their pedals off the pavement in the turns, and putting on a good show for all those roadies!

Photo cred to DownTownBrown. Or check out some more I found on flickr.

Updates from Montreal to come in the coming days, but let me tell you that the material seems endless. From francophone motorists, to literally hundreds of other bike messengers, and such a strong cycling culture in general, there will be plenty to talk about.

Byrd out.

The Douche Presides.

2009-03-20T09:29:00.005-03:00

When I said that posting was going to be spread thin, I'm sure you weren't expected the gap to be over two months. My most sincere apologies.

But hey, lets focus on the now. March 20 means that today is the last day of Winter and warmer weather is a lot closer. I'm excited. But so are all those bothersome Summer riders. When exams hit and the sun is out, hundreds of weak cyclists will crowd the streets, complete with over-exaggerated hand signals and an overall lack of confidence. They'll be crowding the rush hour streets, pissing the hell out of drivers, and pissing the hell out of me. But that's okay, at least they are riding bikes, right?

So who can help Summer riders survive the summer? Who other than Phil Block. The Douche presides. Click here.

Changes.

2009-01-07T20:20:00.003-04:00

Things are changing. As you've all probably read, Byrd is assuming a part-time position at IBWT!, as he is returning to his photo studies. This means, as you've probably already realized, that posting will be spread thinner. But that's okay. See, it's all about expectations, and I'm telling you what to expect. Now you won't be disappointed.

Yesterday, DB said something about this winter being host to many changes in his life. I feel that the same will be true with ours, and it begins with Byrd. Change can be good, though. Byrd will post every once in while. So let's celebrate this change with a quality In Bike We Trust! send-off. This will be a good year.

I hope you are laughing as hard as I did.

Retirement

2009-01-06T18:03:00.006-04:00

As it seems to happen, every so often I retire from the world of bicycle messengering. I move, I travel, I go to school, things come up. I really do love this job, and I always find my way back to it. And, if all goes according to plan, I'll be back on the streets of Montreal in September. You may think then, "well, you can't really call it retiring then, dink!"

Maybe, but truth is, we are really lucky to be able to do what we do. Beyond just surviving the job, physically being able to ride a bike for a living is a privilege. Whether you are in the UCI pro tour, tourer-extraordinaire, or peddling packages, your time in the saddle is almost certainly finite. So jumping off the bike voluntarily, rather than knocked off against your will, is something to be celebrated and appreciated.

Phil said it yesterday, "that this will be an era to look back on fondly."

With that said, I'm sure I'll still be pissing off Haligonian motorists, with stories and pictures to share. And come September, we'll take In Bike We Trust! inter-provincial and potentially bilingual (beyond JP's francophone rants in the comments).

And seriously, Pinky, post something!

Photographed Phatties, etc.

2008-12-16T17:45:00.005-04:00

Ok, I had to post this.

So, anyone in white at Dal is a painter. Obviously, paint + white = visable paint on clothes, and this guy doesn't have a drop on him. That, along with the fact that I see him every time I'm in this building and he NEVER has a drop of paint on him leads him to believe that he does absolutely nothing. As DB said to me, this guy is probably one of these douche bags that are always on the union-seniority-free-ride. Besides all this speculation, let's talk about what is evident and real. And I know you're probably thinking I'm going to go on about his disgraceful weight issue and impending heart failure, but no, I won't. Instead, let's talk about his pants. How in the hell does this guy find pants this short!? He must have a 20" inseam! That definitely makes the waist bigger then the leg. And yeah, he's got naturally short legs, but his pants barely reach is socks! Maybe he felt that that a normal legged pant would just be TOO much white. Besides which, he needs to show off his matching boot/belt combo. Nothing like short legs and short pants to excentuate a massive gut. Gross.

DB was afraid my flash would reveal my camera fetish, and these dudes would come barreling down upon us like... barrels. Barrels full of shit, mind you.

Obviously, I'm running short on material here. I call on every one of you to pester Byrd to post again.

Get your mind right

2008-12-12T17:10:00.006-04:00

Byrd has told me that last winter, the wind nearly ripped his bike from his hands. I never really believed him, but today, I experienced it. What a dick meeting. I wanted to punch the wind in the face, today. Not to mention the twit who designed the Maritime Centre without considering its wind tunnel consequences. Riding your bike was like biking in a wave pool.

About 30 minutes after I send this text to Byrd and DB, I hit the ground. I took my hand off the bars for a second to adjust my bag, and the wind picked up. My front wheel twisted, and I went down hard.

I think it's important to crash from time to time. You need to remember what pavement tastes like. I know that I need to be reminded that I'm not invincible, but also that when you hit the ground, you shake it off, and ride on. Well, most of the time. There WILL be a time when it might not be so easy. It's important that cyclists are aware that there are consequences to our actions.

My mishap today could have been avoided if I had been aware that my mind just wasn't in it today. And there were red flags. I accidently twisted out of my pedal while skidding two days ago. I went down fast, and possibly bruised a rib or something. Hurts to laugh, anyway. That's why this post isn't a funny one. Plus, I'm feeling a little hungover today. A previous crash and a night out resulted in me being half in the game today. I was tired, sore, and didn't have the strength to battle the wind today, and paid for it with the taste of pavement. Again.

Anyway, no matter what bike you're riding, how you lock it up, or how many headset spacers it has, ride hard, carefully.

Re-Evaluating the Purpose

2008-12-09T09:06:00.012-04:00

It's 9:06am, I've been given three jobs, and I'm sitting at my kitchen table in my oversized cycling gear sleepwear, NOT wondering what I'm doing with my life. I've got two degrees, and I deliver packages for a living.

People question my sanity every day. Whether they say it or not, they look at me with those condescending, parental eyes. 'When are you going to get a REAL job? When are you going back to school? How can you ever afford a car? a house? to retire?' I thank these people for reminding me how emotionally stable I am for not falling into a classic 3rd year undergraduates' 'what AM I going to do with my life dilemma. I thank these people for reminding me how much I don't give a shit.

So what DO I care about? Well, all kinds of things. One of them, as of late, is making people laugh. BYRD and I seem to be doing an alright job of doing that, lately. And yeah, we can be downright assholes sometimes. I mean, check out this video:

See? Only an ass would even try and get you to watch this.

And yes, we can be particular about bikes. I mean, I'm not going to rip some dude on the street for his shitty bike. I don't actually care that much. But shit, if i can write about it in a way that makes people laugh, then that's what I'll do.

It's kind of like that television show, What Not to Wear. But let's call it... What Not to Ride. I'm not being an asshole, I'm just trying to make people aware of how they are presenting themselves. People who want to get laid won't leave the house unless they know they look and feel good. Why should your appearance be any different from your bike's? Let's face it: in a small city and a small bike community, you are what you ride. So take pride in your ride! Make sure that it's looking it's best when it leaves the foyer.

And it's not really about how much money you invest in your bike. Just be consistent. Don't ride a track bike with cruiser bars. Don't ride your DH bike on the street. Don't even touch a bike with electric-assist. And don't...

do this. If I'm correct when I say you are what you ride, then this person must be an STD. Oh shit, sorry, an STI. My mistake.

The fixie trend can definitely be classified as a disease. Sorry, I mean infection. Once they became popular, everybody and his mom started searching craigslist using 'horizontal dropouts' for keywords. Do this, and next thing you know, you've got a cruiser frame with plastic flat pedals, a bad tape job, a couple tri parts, and a nasty wound on your thigh from a super long and exposed front brake cable. The pedals alone makes this bike completely unsafe.

These craiglist sellers are super smart. They know how to take your money and how to give you some poo on wheels.

This 1970s lugged AMF road frame, for instance, is a prime example. This dude has got all the keywords: 1970s, high end, lugs, indestructible, fixed-gear, horizontal drop outs, and $20.00.

Here we have up for sell is an 1970s AMF RoadMaster Dynamic 27 inch road bike frame. This frame was made back when AMF Roadmaster actually made nice, high end bikes. Check out the size of the lugs on the frame. This frame is of the "large size" variety. I can get the actual "size" of the frame if you are interested. This would make a great Fixed-gear bike due to its indestructible lugged frame and the horizontal drop outs. It is also fits the desireable 27in. or 700c rims. The only issue with this frame is the the separation of the metal on the frame on the inside of the right chainstay. I do not believe it would compromise the structural integrity of the frame that much and could be easlily rememdied with a quick and cheap welding job. Come scoop up this old school, tall frame classic. First $20.00 get it. check out the pictures.

AMF Roadmaster, eh? Is this one of their "nice, high end bikes?" Or did they just build this one at in the same era. Shit, my mistake. It's obviously high end due to the size of it's indestructible lugs. Recently, they've started making lugged DH bikes, I hear.

And what's so desirable about 27" wheel? Maybe it's the fact that you're limited to steel and nutted pre-builds with room for a 7spd freewheel. I guess it's desirable because it's rare. Kind of like a clue.

My favourite part. This is a seperation of metal, alright.

To me, this shit is funny. Funnier than watching a billion first-year students with their tights tucked into winter boots in September. And we're not the first and best bike snobs out there, either. We don't pretend to be. The difference, however, is we talk about bikes that are in this city. YOUR city. When you see them, I hope you laugh. And I hope the owners laugh, too. No one should take our bullshit personally.

So, in the end, Mike, I'd like you to know that I appreciate your concerns.

Mike said...
seriously? you have too much time on your hands. who fucking cares what the man does with HIS bike. it's clear you get off on shitting on others but what's the point? you and me both know that you are dying for a little social redemption, but do us all a favor and do it with class. this blog is informative, but seriously, there is enough shit out there breaking people's hearts, why add to the pile? you guys are worse than photo snobs, oh wait, you're that too.

I appreciate them because I am desperate for attention. Yes, I make time for my hands. During these precious moments, I write, make videos, and gather photos for at least forty people a day who obviously give a shit about what and how people ride. But, I could be writing about the cars people drive...

Cyclocross Provincials

2008-12-08T17:37:00.004-04:00

Cyclocross is a pretty exciting sport. You're riding through variably shitty conditions, running up stairs, and constantly getting razzed by onlookers. Sort of like messengering, except you hear cowbells instead of car horns. Today was a pretty dead day at work, not a lot to talk about really. So instead, I'll just leave you with some photos and a video from the cross provincials that were held at Seaview Look-off, yesterday. Miserable weather, fast riders, and a great course resulted in some exciting racing.

Rise and Shine!

2008-12-05T00:15:00.014-04:00

I thought to post this late, hoping that you would get it when you wake up early and check the blog! This video needs to be broken out every once and a while, especially in the morning. Make your alarm maybe.

This video has all of my loves: Bikes. Japan. Cartoons. And LL Cool J references.

Bicycles, etc.

2008-12-04T18:55:00.008-04:00

Yesterday was proof that campus bike racks will be the source of many bikes worth us shitting on. It's now up to us to make sure we make regular daily patrols to make sure that you don't miss out on whatever messed up shit students are rockin'. Kids, these days, I know. But shit, maybe one day you'll leave the library to find one of these in your spokes:

And then hopefully you'll rush home to make sure we did a decent job of being complete assholes. Lucky for this guy below, I ran out of gum packages to write on and stick in his spokes. Maybe or he'll never discover the truth about his bike...

Or maybe tomorrow, one of his friends will tell him he's foolish. But wait... what's that locked up beside it?

It's a Surly Crosscheck with a lock worth over $100... and a white frog light placed stealthily on top of the white bar tape... and is a single speed or fixed using a vertical dropout... and.... we'll save this guy for a different day. Right now, we'll focus on the Cervelo.

This dude is using a $2500 triathlon specific bike, and using it to commute. In December. He uses Specialized All Condition foldables, a $20 lock, and a clip on fender. I love the fender.

I made a little questionnaire for absolutely no reason.

Why? Why commute on this bike?

1. You like aero tubing.

2. Soloist describes you perfectly.

3. You enjoy returning lost wallets in a timely and orderly manner.

Which model "goes like an absolute bullet" ?

1. R3

2. Soloist Carbon

3. SLR - SL - FU + STDs

Is the rear wheel hard to change?

1. No.

2. Yes.

Why should people be worried about Cervelos when they cross the street?

1. They're super fast and super stealthy.

2. They're out there.

3. Only crazy people own Cervelos.

What is s significant change between P4s and P3s?

1. Integrated water bottle.

2. The size.

3. The colour.

Ok. I'm tired.

Comments

2008-12-03T20:43:00.003-04:00

We figured out how to let everybody comment, finally. So, if you think we're full of shit, please don't hesitate to let us know.

Pinky's Pet Peeves

2008-12-03T19:29:00.011-04:00

Is this you?

No? You're not in a wheelchair? You're not carrying something with both hands? Your not elderly? Your not missing your arms? Then don't fucking hit it! I'm lazying around on the Dal medical campus, and I hear the whine of the powered door open beside me. I look over, and it's three students, arms included. Just as the door opens, I hear "It's too heavy." Give me a break. I felt like saying "Hey! You're too heavy!" What a waste of power. Use your arms before you lose them. Or before you look like this blob:

Shit, even Disney gets it.

Next time on Pinky's Pet Peeves, we'll discuss elevator etiquette. But first, let us peruse these photos:

Headset spacers anyone?

And check this:

Dude's got v-brake pads on his road calipers. Figures, I found this ride locked up (properly, this time), on the Dal med campus. Watch out for this guy, he'll be the one using scalpels instead of cotton swabs because from a distance, they sort of look the same.

Honestly, there's nothing really wrong with this bike. But next time, if you have to park so close to our friend with the black KHS, please remove your lights when you lock up. We wouldn't want him thinking he can throw your rear light on his handlebars and ride in the oncoming traffic lane or something. Besides which, when someone does take your lights, don't moan and groan about how Halifax is such a bad city for bicycle related theft. Especially don't complain to your LBS' employees. They really hate that shit. Wait a sec... This bike looks familiar...

Observations

2008-11-30T21:07:00.005-04:00

Oberservations.

This must be top-secret material.

What a piece of shit.

Darrell Matthews is obviously living the dream.

Went up and down 22 floors twice just to get a shot of this that is semi-legible. I don't think you could fit in a bukkake within this amount of time.

Ass Coverage!

2008-11-26T22:16:00.006-04:00

In order to keep chamois between our saddles and asses, a previous post has been edited. Or "The Man" is censoring us! Gnarly, eh?

Some broken shit

2008-11-26T20:22:00.009-04:00

Choosing the right pedals has been a trial from day one. There is no pedal that is designed to be put through the shit that we put them through day after day. Today around 3:30, I realized that my cleat wasn't engaging into the pedal. I figured that snow or mud was getting in the way, so I just stomped on the pedal until it clicked in. However, on the way home, I could hear metal shaking around down there.

Here's a photo of what an SPD should look like:

Here's what mine looks like:

This is the second time in two weeks that this has happened. Now, I like these pedals, and I've used them for years. I use them on every bike I own. However, constantly clipping in and out causes the cleat to wear pre-maturely. Imagine track-standing at a red light in front of a line of traffic. Now imagine the light changing, and flipping over your handlebars when your cleat pulls out of your pedal when you accelerate. Hilarious, but frustrating. Byrd's tried them, but prefers his Egg Beaters. He says he finds them easier to get into and harder to accidently pull out of, but they still don't hold up very well.

This one is toast.

And shit, on days like today, with snow, ice and mud all over the roads, we have a hard time keeping both wheels stuck to the ground as it is.

And his knee didn't even get it the worst. His arm is currently elbow deep in a juice jug full of ice.

The Douche Abides

2008-11-24T21:34:00.007-04:00

In Bike We Trust! exists as an outlet for our daily frustrations and celebrations, and just about anything in between. Today we can celebrate our first In Bike We Trust! out-of-context acknowledgment!

Our better third, The Douche, was at the Barrington Street SuperStore NSLC with his two lovely daughters, dressed in shirt and tie, as it was his birthday. At the counter, the clerk says, "Hey, aren't you a bike messenger?"

The Douche: "Yes, I am."

Clerk: "Yeah, you're on that blog!"

The Douche: "Oh you've seen it?"

Clerk: "I've seen your ass."

Classic.

For context (and to hopefully make this a reoccurring exchange) here is the original video:

Stupid people and void confidentiality

2008-11-24T20:28:00.022-04:00

Adverse weather makes people say the weirdest shit. The following is a small sample of stupid comments I hear and a selection of popular responses that may or may not escape my mouth.

Weirdo: "Sweet summer job! What do you do in the winter?"

a) Same thing, man!

b) Impregnate women.

c) Make pornos.

d) I turn into The Dude.

e) Fuck you.

Weirdo: "Do you have your snow tires on?"

a) Yeah, I threw the fucking chains on this morning.

b) Actually, skinny tires help cut through the snow, and a smooth tread keeps more of the tire's rubber on the road.

c) Yes.

d) No.

e) Fuck you.

Weirdo: "You're not on a bike, are you?"

a) [Tap my helmet.]

b) I used to ride a bike, but that shit was slow. I switched to a pogo stick.

c) Yes.

d) No.

e) Fuck you.

Weirdo: "Not a very nice day to be on a bike!"

a) Not a very nice day to be an asshole, either!

b) [Shrug.]

c) Better than whatever it is that you do.

d) You're right. Snow does not facilitate a pleasurable cycling experience.

e) Fuck you.

Obviously I'm a little jaded. We hear this shit everyday, all the time. The transition from"actually, the snow isn't too bad..." to a shrug or "you'd be suprised..." to "yes/no" is a rapid one. It gets old pretty quick.

Today wasn't so bad considering the amount of snow we received over the weekend. The side roads were shit, but you adapt. It's funny that people don't understand how we do our jobs on days like today, because even THEY can't do their jobs on days like today. I didn't leave my house until ten this morning because nobody could or wanted to get to the office! And then, after completing only four jobs, I end up chilling in an office tower cafe for an hour. This is how we do.

Anyway, back to the questions that people ask. One question that I get every once in a while, is "what do you carry, anyway?" Well, I carry all kinds of shit. Mostly envelopes, but I've had other wierd shit in my bag, too.

So, this will mark the beginning of a new In Bike We Trust post label: 'Contents.'

Today on Contents, Marshall and DB make a slow day fun by breaching client confidentiality! Instead of blindly becoming the Man's bitch, DB decides to root through the contents of a package, only to be pleasantly surprised...

- Edit -

Once I sobered up, I realized that the photo that used to be here was probably not a good idea. I've removed it until we can blur out the shit that could keep Phil's kids from getting fed.

- 2nd Edit -

Problem solved! Thanks, Goose.

What A Feeling!

2008-11-23T12:22:00.007-04:00

As a cyclist, one can become an easy target for a motorist's frustrations. They don't feel we should be faster, more maneuverable, or even on the same roads as them. Too often I've witness a motorist try so hard to pass me, that they stop watching the road and nearly hit a pedestrian in a cross-walk. I am very flattered that I have your full attention, but if you can't divide it evenly between me and the other obstacles on the road you are going to hurt someone.

Case and point: Friday morning I'm swinging around the parking lot of the church at Pizza Corner, coming out onto Brunswick. From here I'd like to ride up Doyle, which from the church driveway is about 5 meters to my left and across two lanes of Brunswick. No one is coming from my left but there is a car coming on the right, followed about 4 meters behind by a van cab and a couple cars behind him. Easy right, I pull out between the car and van cab, and make a quick right up Doyle? Not today. As soon as I start inching out of the driveway, the cabbie speeds up as to not allow me into the flow of traffic. But as momentum would have it, I'm already well on my way into his lane, right on the bumper of the car ahead. He doesn't slow down and is literally about 6 inches off my rear wheel as I notice that the car ahead has unexpectedly, and without signal, decided to turn onto Doyle as well, and has come to a near stop to do so. I barely keep myself from falling on her trunk, and just squeeze out ahead of the cabbie, still insistent on hitting me. With the cabbie's energy and focus on taking me out, he too fails to notice the car ahead has stopped to turn, and rear-ends her.

Hearing the accident, and looking back, the cabbie's eyes are still fixed on me. A single-fingered salutation and a quick wave goodbye is all I have time for.

Sometimes you can't help feel like a bull fighter out there. But maybe a special league for really dumb bulls.

-Edit-

Really, those are the moments I live for. You know the bike gods have your back when you fly away unscathed from an accident, that some would say you caused, and left a douchebag cabbie and a non-signaller to pick up the pieces. All sans helmet too! I somehow left it at home c/o construction in my yard and sudden priority jobs forcing me out the door. Up until the accident I was riding cautiously (less in terms of safety, and more to avoid a ticket). But I tell you, after flipping that cabbie off and riding away, I just flew up Spring Garden, not a care in the world. I was running lights and waving at cops! (True except for the running lights and waving at cops part.)

Concrete Rodeo

2008-11-20T17:26:00.007-04:00

Just classic.

I

II

III

IV

-Edit-

What a bunch of tools. But seriously, a great time to be a messenger. You could be filthy, inconsiderate, and smell like an alcoholic (along with being one), and still make a decent paycheck. Living the dream, I tell you.

It's Me, February

2008-11-19T19:50:00.010-04:00

Hi, November. It's me, February! Just thought I'd drop in to fuck up your season.

Dick off. Really.

Monday Mornings

2008-11-18T21:04:00.009-04:00

Mondays can be tough: your legs don't always take to a weekend of rest like you want them to. Some days I'll jump on my bike and just fly, like there is a tail wind following me around every corner and up every hill. Other days I am just dragging behind me every minute of the weekend that I sat with my feet up.

I couldn't tell which of the two yesterday was for me, though. Within an hour of being on the road I saw a woman run over by a dump truck, and subsequently left under the rear wheels for the next four hours as police (and everybody who passed by) tried to figure out exactly what happened. The news spread pretty quickly around town, as the accident shut down Barrington and Sackville and a block in all four directions. Over the course of the day I heard she was a 20 year old girl, a 27 year old young woman, an elderly lady, on a cell phone, had her coat caught by the truck and was dragged under, was backed over, was crossing at the red, was crossing at a flashing hand sign (recently made illegal here, and immoral the way some people talk about it). I was a block away, and you know what, I couldn't confirm or deny any of those statements.

Halifax is still small enough that something like that can shake up the whole city. Secretaries, drivers, retail employees... everyone seemed a little rattled. I'll give the benefit of the doubt to the 8 or 10 motorists who, throughout the course of the day, nearly killed me by not signaling, driving in a bike lane, speeding past me to a red light, pulling out in front of me, running a stop sign, or just all around careless driving, that they didn't hear the news. I was definitely looking out for sets of wheels that I could end up under.

On the brighter side of things, I was lucky enough to end my day hanging out with a seal feeding about 15 feet of the side of Purdy's Wharf. She hung out for about 20 minutes, filling up on harbour fish, which she seemed to just be able to help herself to. I had no idea seals were so dextrous.

Zoom.

Close Call

2008-11-13T22:29:00.008-04:00

I'm riding up to the Royal Bank on Spring Garden today, and I hear a phone ringing over my shoulder. At first I think maybe it is someone's speaker phone coming from their car, but the sound follows me and the traffic doesn't. So perhaps someone has their radio button pressed down at the office. Not likely, but it's happened.

As I get off my bike the sound switches over to, "The caller you are attempting to reach..." So I throw open my bag to find a package from DOWNEAST cellular to be responsible. I pull out the bag the fumble with it seeing if I can disarm or undo whatever I somehow did while riding.

I'm standing in the doorway to the bank, and by now the call ends, and is giving me that busy signal "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!" I look over to see Pinky at the teller counter giving me a weird look. Oh yeah, I'm standing disgruntled in the bank foyer with a plastic bag going BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
I'm glad there are not armed guards at banks here.

Why I'm Glad I'm a Messenger

2008-11-12T21:02:00.010-04:00

Well, today was a beautiful day to ride a bike for a living. It was so warm for most of the day that I heard more "I wish I worked outside(s)" than I heard "sucks to be you(s)." People never really say "sucks to be you," though. They just have the "sucks to be you" look and the "sucks to be you" suit. These people can usually be found in elevators, and they never ride them to the bottom. Instead, they get off on the second floor, the floor that houses the coffee and pedways to other buildings with shitty second floors I never visit. I curse them after they get off, for impeding my downward progress.

Anyway, this morning was one of those mornings that involved me being out of breath constantly. When I'm out of breath, I spit. Today, I spat, and then immediately realized that I had spit to the wrong side.

Spit to the right, goddamnit!

This, of course, is a re-enactment. The actual situation involved a stringy flag swinging from the aerial, but naturally, I can't swing my bag around and grab my camera without gobbing me back with mouth goo. DB thought it was pretty funny, though, when I passed him my camera and then horked on my radio. I think this was the sixth photo he took, the first five were out of focus because he couldn't stop laughing.

Later in the day, Byrd and I are hanging out in the Tupper building courtyard. Laughing, he points out this yellow mountain bike that was leaning against handrail for a wheelchair ramp.

Look hard and tell me what's wrong with this picture (other than the saddle angle, which would cause anyone gettins to get got.)

Maybe you can see it better in this photo...

Yeah, there it is. Dude has done a fucking A1 job of locking his bike up.

The lock isn't even closed! Why even carry it around with you? Maybe it's some kind of decoration. Bike garland, maybe? I dunno. I mean, as Byrd just pointed out to me, I can't make fun of this dude (I refer to girls as dudes sometimes, too) for not locking his/her bike because I rarely lock my bike up. So what is the reason for this? Was he interrupted? Did he want the bike stolen? Shit, maybe it rode like a piece of crap and thought it'd be worth giving it the first person who could solve his sophisticated virtual lock riddle. So I took it for a ride.

Other than the saddle, it was fine.

DB in his element.

2008-11-10T19:52:00.006-04:00

Post Race Report

2008-11-09T13:49:00.006-04:00

Well, cross was pretty fun this morning, and I think I rode quite well. I think I was only three laps in when my front derailleur cable snapped.

I noticed while I was building the bike that when in one piece, the cable runs dangerously close to the tire. I thought it was okay, but I guess I'll have to look at how the bike is spec'd and change the front derailleur. It probably requires a universal pull instead of a top pull. Besides which, I realized immediately that my mish-mashed drivetrain wasn't gelling together. The chain slipped on the cassette anytime I applied pressure to the pedals. Oh well. Still had a good time, and placed well, I think.

Byrd was taking some photos before and during the race, but it'll be a while before they're digitized (thanks Enid). Hopefully someone will have photos of my slip n' slide and Jeff with the roll of caution tape wrapped around his rear wheel. Hilarious.

New Edition

2008-11-08T15:01:00.006-04:00

Welcome to the family.

2009 Gary Fisher Paragon 29er with a whole load of random parts. This is a warranty frame that replaces the 2007 frame that you can see in the background of the Table Racing vid. When I was in Vermont, I burned out the rear brake pads and the heat from the metal backing rubbing against the rotor caused the brake mount to collapse inward. After using vice grips to bend the frame back into place so I could ride, a crack developed. Voila, new frame. It's a little bit heavier because they beefed up the brake mount to compensate for the problem that I and many others probably experienced. Comes in around 26lbs. With some cross tires, it'll be perfect for tomorrow.

Table Racing

2008-11-08T09:45:00.008-04:00

This is what we do on the weekend.

Intimidation

2008-11-07T22:17:00.017-04:00

Flying down South Street towards South Park, a pick up truck pulls out right in front of me at Wellington. At first he is just nudging, so I slide over a bit. Then he's blocking the whole lane. I lock-up and peal into Wellington, yelling something as he flips me off. I look back to see South has the green, and I assume it'll be red again before he gets to Robie.

Can't help it, I turn around and chase him down. Being right about the lights, I catch up to him at Robie, leaning again his truck and knocking at the window:

"What the f@ck was that?"

"You were in the middle of the road!"

"In what world? You pulled into my lane!"

"You should be to the right, not in the middle of the lane!"

"How the hell would you see me riding in the gutter if you couldn't see me in the middle of MY lane!"

At this point I'm getting irate. I'm willing to talk, but if you bullshit me, I'll come back at you. So by now, I'm throwing my arms around around, describing what an idiot this guy is (to him). And all of a sudden, he drops it. "Cool, man. Sorry, man, sorry."
What the hell? I'll take the gift, but what the guff? "Yeah, you could kill someone!" I noted though, right before he backed down, he looked me up and down outside his truck window. I'm pretty sure he noticed my arm warmers, and as most are in this city, was fooled by them:Bam! If sleeves will get an asshole in a pick-up to back down, I'm considering visible tattoos, and lots of 'em.

Poor Pinky

2008-11-07T21:44:00.007-04:00

At last weekend's alleycat (which I hear was a good time), Daryl Stewart, a.k.a. Pinky, abandoned a Bell "Furio"(?) helmet on the deck.Although he is now rocking a new Giro "Ionos" (fancy shit) and is too tough to admit his loss, it would be nice to recover the lost helmet. If you have any word and were at the race, drop us a line at the broom wagon. If I see you wearing his lid... can't say.

Lesson #1: 4-Way Stops

2008-11-07T00:01:00.006-04:00

Nobody in the city seems to understand 4-way stops.

First person to the stop sign has the right-of-way, right? But what if it's a tie? Is it the person on the left or the right? What if it's your turn and there is someone crossing the street in front of you? Can I steal the right-of-way? How bouts I bury my ass in the middle of the intersection so no one can go! Holy shit, a simple intersection just became a complicated mess. Makes me want to pull out my spokes...

Whoa! What did I say about Sun rims?

When I pull up to the intersection and come to a stop, drivers forget about the rules. They all either freeze or nearly collide with each other. A cyclists fastest and safest bet is to prey on hesitation; if no one's moving, it must be your turn! The one time I try and stop I nearly get smooked by some out-of-towner who bowls through the stop sign. You just can't win.

Product Testing

2008-11-05T18:14:00.005-04:00

Don't buy Sun rims.

Busy Day

2008-11-04T18:33:00.005-04:00

Well, DB took the day off today, and I was swamped. People always ask me how a remember all of my pickups. Well, on days that I do 64 jobs, random pieces of paper suffice.

Sure beats a Blackberry.

So... what was Phil doing, anyway?

Fall Cyclocross

2008-11-03T08:34:00.006-04:00

It's fall, and that means it's time for cyclocross in Halifax. Don't know what cross racing is? It's the perfect sport for hipsters!It's not road racing, so you don't have to ride in full lycra. It's not mountain biking, so... you don't have to ride a mountain bike, (which is so not hip). Also, people will be asking questions about your 'weird' but cool bike. Like, for example, instead of 'why don't you have brakes?', you'll hear 'why do you have knobby tires and cantilevers on a road frame?' Perfect! You can become active in yet another activity that the public doesn't understand!

The races series is hosted by Cyclesmith, and Cyclesmith Club members can race for free. Membership is only ten bucks, so cough it up. Bring a bike that doesn't have aero bars or bar ends. So yes, theoretically, you could ride your fixie.

The following info is taken from the Cyclesmith Club forum.

2008 Schedule

All races start at 10am sharp.
Race 1 - Sunday 2 November
Race 2 - Sunday 9 November
Race 3 - Sunday 16 November
Race 4 - Sunday 23 November

Length: Each race lasts 40 minutes plus 1 lap, based on the leader's time

Points: All 4 races count towards the overall series. Points are awarded based on the number of people who finish after you.

Where: Seaview Park Look-off, Halifax. Park at the end of Novalea Drive. Enter the Park under the Mackay Bridge.

***The race course is above the railway track, not down by the water.

Winter Riding Style

2008-11-02T16:09:00.015-04:00

First off, props go out to the organizers of the alley cat on Friday. Seemed like a great turnout, there must have been at least fifty people there. Well, at the starting line, anyway. Great party, too. I think I've finally managed to put a few names to bikes.

Secondly, today I was blessed with a little bit of fashion information that will keep all of you hip riders cool AND warm this winter:

Socks outside of tights!

Funny thing, I don't actually think my socks are outside my tights in this photo, but hey, they look like they are. And this is last year, anyway. But to give you a better idea, it will look sort of like this:

Definitely cool. End of story.

Another piece of fashion advice, brought to you by those at In Bike We Trust! Next week, Phil Block will show you how to smoke and ride!

Complementary Homophobia

2008-10-10T20:06:00.009-03:00

Okay, thanks.

Chub'd

2008-10-08T19:00:00.007-03:00

So you may have seen these pop up all over the blogs a few months back. But I've yet to see any photos of them on bikes, so I thought I'd post mine. They're called Chub Hubs and they achieved brief popularity in the 90s (I think, maybe later) before the manufacturer bailed out. I bought one off a friend when I was working in Toronto in 2002, and subsequently had my rear wheel run over. I thought that was the last I'd seen of the Chub, until ByTheHive (of Formula Brake USA) got together with the inventor/patent holder to re-issue them.

The Douche* and I ordered a pair from the first batch, and have been on them for about a month. We get a lot of questions about them, which I don't really mind. Now, along with, "Why don't you have brakes?", I get, "Why's your hub so big?", or both. I usually just tell people it's power-assist, and if they have any clue what that means, I try to convince them it is full of D-cell batteries.

You can check the website for all the actual facts about the hubs, like reduced spoke torsion, ti bolt this and that, if you are so inclined. Chris Costello and the fine folks at ByTheHive have been awesome with us. We've been sending a lot of beta their way, and they have provided anything we asked in testing these chubbies out. In Bike We Trust! is also an official dealer of Chub Hubs, so if you're interested, let me know, and we'll get you one from their next batch.

Bum Cushion

2008-10-06T21:08:00.004-03:00

This pair of hospital employees actually brought out some cushions for their smoke break on the park bench.

Shit dudes, bring a hammock.

Snot-Rocket Season is Now in Full Effect

2008-10-06T20:32:00.006-03:00

Just in case you needed directions.

FIXIE DATE!

2008-10-02T19:46:00.018-03:00

No, seriously. Nice work on the photoshoot, girls. However, if you want Tracko to link your pics, you have to pump up the satch and loose your blacks. I would have used a harsh flash, but here is what I could do with what I was given:

But if you're a real "Bike Gang" you need a name representative of your toughness, and you need to throw it all over your pics! (So no one tries to pretend they're you or something.)

See? Better. And a nice bleed is key! Let's keep going...

Yeah, no shame in making sure your buddy's zebra print bandana is tied right. You gotta be tight like that to survive as a crew in "Helltown."

Kidding, dudes, but just thank me for not using the image of you watching gay porn. Say what you want, that's what it would have looked like. And you're baked right? Please tell me you are super baked.

Seriously?

2008-10-01T22:16:00.006-03:00

Seriously? Seriously.

Death Of The Dove

2008-09-22T20:26:00.013-03:00

2003-2008

"There's a raging fire in my heart tonight
Growing higher and higher in my soul
There's a raging fire in the sky tonight
I want to ride on the silver dove
Far into the night"

It finally happened.

I was first told the Dove was cracked about two years ago; an inch long split along the drive-side chainstay. It wasn't. Then after being forced off the road last summer, the top tube was pinched. "Eeeeh, I wouldn't ride it. Start looking for a new frame." Panic. Without bike? I couldn't. But laziness prevailed and as the weeks went on the Dove proved the skeptics wrong. The top tube was true, however deformed.

In November my left testicle made the most significant damage to date. A perfect imprint. (And yes, it sucked for me too. I actually had find a corner to hind in, and insure I still had a left testicle at all.) This time I was convinced the Dove had seen her day. Plus, I was working again, and needed a reliable bike. I couldn't take the chance of the frame breaking and not being able to work.

I ordered a Bare Knuckle; minimalist, red, tuff as nails. The day it came I remember staring at it on my coffee table not really knowing what to think. It wasn't meant to be. Not yet. It found a good home, and the Dove rode on. Still in the back of my mind I needed the security of another frame. From Philly came a 90's Pinarello lugged steal frame. Cracked decals, chipped paint, this well-loved track frame quickly became my main machine. The Dove, now just a frameset, found a home, appropriately, in my broom closet.

Three months and two broken seat stays later, the Pinarello ended up in Mark Beaver's frame shop, and the Dove saw action again. Tried and trusted the Dove was back. I slowly accumulated a second set of components, so that when the Pinarello came back I would have two working bikes (a dream of mine). With the Pinarello looking like it might be sitting in that basement until... snowfall? Christmas? St. Patrick's Day? I decided a would have to procure another frame to realize my dream.

That frame arrived last week and was awaiting a single part to join the Dove in my newly formed arsenal. Thursday, though, around 9:30am, I noticed a bed-like creaking coming from somewhere on my frame. The cranks were on their way out, had been moaning for about a week or so, but this new sound was independent from that, and unnerving. I rode on and let my jobs lead me home. I parked the Dove outside and took the time to make some coffee and a sandwich. When I was ready, I walked outside, turned over the top tube pad, and one by one cut off the zip-ties securing it. Slowly pealing the pad back, right through the testicle relief, a crack, running half way round the top tube.

I think the Silver Dove needs to be bronzed. Or be filled with killer bees and buried. Dig it up, posers, I dare you.

The Broom Wagon

2008-09-22T19:51:00.019-03:00

So Byrd and I have recently consolidated living spaces, and lovingly named the result The Broom Wagon. Conveniently located at the south end of the north end and somewhere between all that is hip, this new headquarters will be the source of all things messenger/bike related in Halifax.
Suck it up, posers.

As you can see, not only does this location allow us to sleep/charge our radios longer because of its close proximity to the downtown core, but it offers a great spot for hanging our little numbers.

So if you're in the area, swing on by The Broom Wagon. Ours is the driveway with the sewer grate turned in the wrong direction. We even have a cook/seamstress/household labouror! (Thanks for the insight, Grandma.)

Just kidding, TB.